Your book is a reminder of what I need to do

Jocelyn, what a mighty God indeed. I am so thankful to Him for sparing your life so you could be the voice you now are for those who are gagged. What the enemy intended for evil, God has turned it out for your good and the good of many, many, more than you can count.

I remember a dark night on the streets of Hackney, London. I was a small child walking with my bloody-faced mother on our way to the hospital . . . I know now what the scar on her lips symbolizes. 

How selfish of me then...and now, especially as a Christian. I have not been fair to her by not understanding the impact of abuse on her life...I now recognize I need to not only repent but address her behavior toward me from a different perspective, certainly with more grace. 

A few days ago, as I pondered on meeting her again soon (last time 2016), I sensed I didn't want to touch her, I then realized I still have issues I need to address. Vising your site and reading the first chapter of your book is a reminder of what I need to do.

I will purchase the book and peruse your site in more detail. 

Thank you for sharing your pain, shame, and beauty you have acquired for your ashes through the faithful loving-kindness of our heavenly Father, who promised never to leave or forsake you.

...a vision comes before me of perpetrators...I saw men who are repentant and need support to overcome their guilt and shame.

Mary B

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Does Scripture Allow Divorce from an Abuser?

The entire tone and theme of scripture is that human lives and compassion are more important than theology, which is often skewed by personal bias. 

Proverbs chapter two says it is God's will that anyone oppressed by the evil man be free from him. That includes oppressed and abused wives. In forbidding abused spouses to divorce, proponents of mainstream marriage and divorce theology have ruined and cost far too many lives.

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Another Domestic Violence Stereotype Shattered!

Denise Turney of "Off the Shelf Books" learned something new as she interviewed me on her show Saturday. Being on her show is always a pleasure. Listen to the interview HERE

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Teaching gender hierarchy leads to contempt and abuse of women

 Complementarian men symbolically urinate on women

Reprint of 
March 11, 2012 Examiner article By Jocelyn Andersen

Last week men were symbolically urinating on women at the complementarian “Men of God 2012” conference held at Calvary Baptist Church in Bellefontaine, Ohio (complementarianism assigns strict gender roles to women and men with women being subordinate to men in all things).

Since there were no women in attendance, the women’s restroom was opened for use by the men. In an article describing his experience at the conference, ** Paul M. Dohse Sr., editor of the blog “Paul’s Passing Thoughts” and advocate of non-hierarchical church leadership, posted on his blog that while using the women’s restroom, he found the toilets and floor in every stall sprayed with urine. 

He wrote that this was the case with the women's restroom throughout the conference. In an email interview with this writer, Dohse said the men's restroom was never in such condition but would not go so far as to say he believed men at the conference were demonstrating hatred and contempt for women by symbolically urinating on them. He did say, “it's hard for me to believe what I saw wasn't deliberate.”

He blamed the condition of the women’s restroom [in part] on the anti-woman messages preached at the conference by Dr. Voddie Baucham. Baucham, who will be coming to the Orlando area this fall to speak at a conference with Dr. R. C. Sproul, is a prominent leader within the complementarian movement. He presented three keynote messages at the Bellefontaine conference, all of which were saturated with anti-feminist rhetoric and an “us” against “them” attitude. In part two of his three part “Culture War” presentation, he portrayed women as being just a notch above the serpent on the “food chain,” of which males were at the top.

From the urine-sprayed condition of the women’s restroom at Calvary Baptist, it seems clear that Baucham was successful in whipping the men into an anti-feminist frenzy. Successful leaders understand that movements with clearly defined opposition are the most successful. In her book, Out of the Cults and into the Church, Janis Hutchinson quoted Hoffer when she wrote, “Mass movements can rise and succeed without a belief in God . . . but never without a belief in a devil. This is because the strength of a mass movement is proportionate to the vividness and tangibility of its devil. When Hitler was asked whether he thought the Jew should be completely destroyed, he answered, ‘No . . . We have then to reinvent him.’ Hitler further explained that ‘It is essential to have a tangible enemy, not merely an abstract one.’”

The devil of the complementarian movement is the feminist, and by complementarian standards, any woman who does not accept a subordinate position to males is a feminist.

On his blog, Dohse asked, “Will New Calvinism Become a Christian Woman’s Worst Nightmare?” In the email interview, he added, “I would look hard at the fact that the patriarchy movement is teaming up with New Calvinism. That's some seriously bad news for women.”

One study found that a belief in strict gender roles was “associated with less perceived seriousness of scenarios depicting interpersonal aggression.” In plain English, that means that those who held to the belief of female subordination did not feel that violence against women was all that serious. This cannot be divorced from the almost wholesale acceptance by evangelicals of complementarianism, which began in 1987 with the issuance of the Danvers Statement. When equality is trashed, as recently demonstrated in Bellefontaine, contemptuous attitudes and actions follow. 

Domestic abuse and violence occurs more frequently among professing Christians than is commonly believed. Some family counselors, such as, Barrington H. Brennen, boldly assert that complementarian teaching is directly responsible for accelerating abusive and violent behavior in husbands.

In 2012, anonymous men at the Bellefontaine conference expressed contempt for women by symbolically urinating on them. Dohse said there was so much urine [in places] on the floor of the women’s restroom that it was difficult to keep it from saturating the hem of his pants. Statistics show what misogynistic men have been doing in the privacy of their homes for decades. How many of the men who urinated all over the women’s restroom at Calvary Baptist Church in Bellefontaine went home and mistreated or beat their wives?

The outrageous behavior of its followers should expose the unbiblical roots of complementarianism for what it is. Jesus said, “you shall know them by their fruits.”

With the complementarian position becoming more extreme, one can only hope adherents will recognize it for the evil it is, withdraw their support, and allow it to implode upon itself and self destruct.

Christians need to stop supporting this garbage and expend our physical and financial resources on worthy endeavors in the advancement of the gospel. Let us seek to set captives free rather than supporting those who seek to enslave. Stand up and walk out on them. Leave complementarian leaders to preach to empty pews and mop up the stinking mess of their own shame.


*** After interviewing Dohse, who first reported about this on his blog in 2011, Andersen published this article on “The Examiner.” Dohse, who attended the Bellefontaine conference, told Andersen [in an email interview] that he stood by his report and analysis of the condition of the women's restroom (vastly different from the men's restroom). Within 24 hours of this article being published on The Examiner, it was reported that Dohse was visited by men who allegedly pressured him to remove his report of the conference from his blog. Dohse, who to his credit remains a staunch advocate of non-hierarchical church leadership, nevertheless caved to the pressure and removed the report from his blog.

 Gender hierarchy teaching is [in and of itself] abusive to women.

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Typical response from pastors to requests to educate church members about domestic violence

Waneta Dawn, Kate Johnson, and I share about our experiences with pastors when they are approached about the topic of Christian response to domestic violence.

Listen to the 11-minute audio HERE (This audio was recorded at the Seneca Falls 2 Christian Conference in Orlando, FL).

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Are Good Parents Losing Custody to Abusers?

 High conflict families are disproportionately represented among the population of those contesting custody and visitation. 

These cases commonly involve domestic violence, child abuse, and substance abuse. 

Research indicates that that custody litigation can become a vehicle whereby batterers and child abusers attempt to extend or maintain their control and authority over their victims after separation. 

Although, research has not found a higher incidence of false allegations of child abuse and domestic violence in the context of custody/visitation, officers of the court tend to be unreasonably suspicious of such claims and that too often custody decisions are based on bad science, misinterpretation of fact, and evaluator bias. As a result, many abused women and their children find themselves re-victimized by the justice system after separation. 

~~ Stephanie Dallam

Trigger alert for the book: Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence


 As the title says, this book is written by a Christian author for Christians experiencing domestic violence or abuse [and for those they are most likely to turn to for help]. So, there is plenty of Bible in it

Expect to find scriptural answers to the perplexing problem of domestic violence and marital abuse among professing Christians. If scriptural answers are not what you are looking for, if you find the Bible offensive, then this may not be the book for you. That being said, non-believers and those of other faiths have stated that they found this work helpful.

Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence: Andersen, Jocelyn: 9780979429309: Books