tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259412272024-03-20T19:24:09.156-07:00Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic ViolenceWoman Submit! CHRISTIANS & DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-65993519668269610752024-02-18T09:06:00.000-08:002024-02-18T09:06:35.303-08:00The Christian wife who experiences domestic violence but won't leave<p style="text-align: justify;">Her life is sometimes threatened by domestic violence, but she stays! What is Christian response to that?</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Dealing with this situation might be one the most difficult of all because we are afraid for her. We feel helpless and sometimes positively frantic....</p><p style="text-align: justify;">But we <i>must</i> respect her choice. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Give her good and responsible counsel, yes. Encourage her to think of her safety <i>first</i>, yes. But in the end, if she chooses to stay, then we must respect that decision; and we must do it without succumbing to the hateful default attitude of, "If <i>I</i> were her...!" </p><p style="text-align: justify;">We're <i>not</i> her. Most women are not in her shoes and never will. What a blessing to be one of those. But thousands of women, along with many more men than we imagine, live in homes where abuse is the norm. Domestic abuse, in all its ugly and dangerous forms, is unacceptable. But whether a wife chooses to stay due to her Christian faith or some other reason, such as the strongest emotion--love, or the second strongest--fear, economic abuse, custody of children, or some other reason they find compelling enough to stay in a dreadful and possibly deadly situation, **we must not withdraw our love, friendship, respect, or <i>prayer support</i> from them. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">** Space prohibits addressing related issues, such as child abuse associated with domestic violence. That is another can of worms and, although related, it is one of many entirely separate issues connected with DV. In <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence-ebook/dp/B0CG6Q77QY" target="_blank">my book</a></i>, <i>Woman Submit</i>, I do deal with the subject in a peripheral manner through the amazing artwork of Kathy Isler.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Women who were raised in (or who attend churches) where male governance is taught, are particularly vulnerable. They are the least likely to leave or confide in <i>anyone</i>. If they do, rest assured it is only because they feel desperate. But even if they do confide in someone, don't assume it is because they are ready to leave the marriages. False teachings about male governance and God's displeasure with women who leave their husbands for any reason at all, has often been pounded into their psyches for years, these wives are the least likely to take legal action against criminally abusive husbands or to leave the marriage. At the risk of their very lives, they will stay. If they do leave, it is usually only temporary, with the goal of "fixing" things and working towards reconciliation, which their pastors usually endorse. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">These victims often have a high moral compass. They are faithful wives, the truest of friends, may be successful career women, are likely to be active in their churches or other ministry work. They are frequently respected for their intelligence, spiritual discernment, and giftings (ditch the stereotypes!). But, because of faulty teaching about marriage and gender-roles, these often truly wonderful people are caught between emotional and spiritual rocks and hard places. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">If they stay, at the very least their personal lives are ruined. If they are not severely injured or killed, they eventually stand to lose a high percentage of their Christian friends, because domestic violence is progressive. Over time, without intervention of some sort, it tends to become worse and worse, and most people --Christians are no exception--cannot handle the frustration of close friendship with someone who remains in an abusive marriage. Oxymoronically, this even includes those who agree that wives should remain in their marriages no matter what. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">So where does that leave Christian victims of DV? Friends abandon them. Family may know of the abuse but wash their hands of the situation. Christian wives often feel as if they have no one to turn to and no place to go. And, if they do leave, they often do so in violation their conscience. They feel they sin against God by doing so, and displease their Christian leaders, who they are often not comfortable with going to for help anyway--or perhaps they have already done so and been told to stay and pray. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Who does that leave for them to turn to? I can tell you from painful personal experience, that my Jesus is an ever-present help in time of trouble. Being a Believer did not spare me from experiencing hellish abuse, but I cannot imagine having to have gone through those years without my Savior. Jesus said, "In the world you will have troubles, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." And he showed up for me 100% of the time, and <a href="https://womansubmit.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html" target="_blank">sometimes in the biggest of ways</a>. I am only alive today because of HIS love, and care, and <i>supernatural</i> intervention.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">It was the Word of God that showed me it was not God's will that I tolerate abuse. Not a single Christian ever told me that. It was through reading my Bible (I read every day always picking up today where I left off yesterday) that my eyes were opened, and I saw that it was God's express and written will that I be free from all abusive. I write about my Blueprint for Freedom in <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence-ebook/dp/B0CG6Q77QY" target="_blank">my book</a>. But leaving for good was a process, and it took me a long time--eleven years--to become totally free (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) from abuse. I lost most of my friends during that process and was told once by my own mother (though she later apologized) not to call her about it ever again. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">What to do when we are the one a victim turns to for help...again, and again, and again? </p><p style="text-align: justify;">The first thing we do is not panic and start pressuring her to leave. It's Ok to ask if she is safe. It's Ok to ask if she wants to call the police, after all a crime has likely been committed. It's Ok to ask if she wants to leave. But if she is not ready to go, she is simply not going to do it, and we risk alienating her if we press the issue, and we don't want that. This would isolate her even more than her abuser already has, and she is going to need our friendship and support more than ever. Trust me, it will strengthen her.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">A victim can be in church with us every Sunday, and still feel alone and isolated, because she trusts no one to understand or be a true friend to her. She has likely already experienced the disdain of family and lost many friends as she has struggled to navigate the awful minefield of domestic abuse or violence. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">A Christian victim living with an abuser, whether he is a professing Christian or not, is experiencing more than a physical or emotional battle; she is smack in the middle of a <i>spiritual</i> battle. The battle between good and evil. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">How fight spiritual battles? **<a href="https://jocelynandersen.blogspot.com/2022/02/spiritual-warfare-in-book-of-job.html" target="_blank">Spiritual warfare</a> is fighting<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Alxl70FixE&t=323s" target="_blank"> the <i>GOOD</i> Fight</a>, and Believers have powerful weapons at our disposal. But they are not the weapons we would imagine. The Bible says the weapons of our warfare are not human weapons but spiritual weapons that are mighty through God to the <i>pulling down of strongholds</i>....</p><p style="text-align: justify;">**Staying with an abuser is dangerous. I <i>never</i> recommend it. The good fight of spiritual warfare can be fought from a safe distance--there are no time or distance barriers with God. But be aware that it is not a scriptural expectation that God will change abusers against their will. He has never promised such a thing, and many a woman has died holding on to that unscriptural expectation. One of the things I cover in <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence-ebook/dp/B0CG6Q77QY" target="_blank">my book</a> is that we cannot change another person's behavior through prayer or anything else. And God never promises that we can. Though many of us see many miraculous answers to prayer for our loved ones, in the end, the only person we have the power to change (through prayer or any other means) is ourselves. Dedicating our lives to changing another person is called co-dependence. There are support groups for that. But there is no scriptural command or basis for such a goal as changing the behavior of others. It all boils down to personal choice--whether to live with abusive behavior or not.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Many, **mostly Christian wives, do not leave dangerous domestic situations because they are taught to stay and pray. I do not advocate for the stay and pray policy, but we cannot pretend that it does not exist and that many victims of abuse believe that is the will of God. And they are often encouraged to do so by pastors or other respected Christian friends or leaders. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">**This article does not address women of other religions and regions of the world who experience domestic violence and <i>cannot</i> leave</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Whatever the reason, we <i>cannot</i> reject victims who do not leave. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">At this point, we have choices to make, and we do need to consider our own safety as well. The days are long gone when wife-beaters were only dangers to their wives. But do we follow a strict policy of withdrawing our friendship and rejecting battered wives who refuse to leave their batterers? Though the manner in which our friendship and support is demonstrated needs to be adjusted according to individual situations (there is a reason DV shelters have extra layers of security to protect both victims and staff), the answer is **No. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">**Lots of qualifiers in this article, but this article does not address domestic violence situations where drugs or alcohol addiction in one or both parties are involved. Where Christian wives are concerned, if substance abuse plays a part in instances of domestic violence, it is usually not the victim who has the substance abuse problem but rather the abuser. Even so, advocates should be cautious in such situations, finding safe ways to lend friendship and support to victims. Tragically, even in marriages where drugs or alcohol are involved in the violence, some pastors still encourage wives to remain in risky circumstances.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">So, the Christian wife, for whatever reason chooses to stay and fight the good fight while living with a potentially dangerous husband. What do <i>we</i> do? We fight the good fight <i>with her</i> (whether from up close or from a safe distance), and<i> we let her know</i> we love her and are on her side. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Prayer warriors know that in spiritual warfare, we seldom choose our battles. They simply present themselves. There are plenty out there. And I promise no one would choose this one. But when it comes to domestic violence, fighting the good fight, whether up close or from a safe distance, whether we are victim or advocate, it is not a choice; we are already in it. It is part of the oldest war in history. It started in the garden. It comes from the pits of hell. And it manifested with the first husband, who wasted no time in fulfilling the awful prophecy that husbands would dominate wives. History has proven the accuracy of this prophecy, which is not a command. It's a heads-up. It's a warning, to both men and women. It's a warning to men not to commit the sin of dominating/ruling over their wives. And it's a warning to wives that most husbands will try, and some husbands will try by force. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">A decades-old survey, in one Christian denomination, showed that one in six women [within that denomination] experienced at least one instance of marital violence during their lifetimes. Current statistics do not show that domestic violence is on the decline. In fact, it has been shown that the complementarian teaching of male governance contributes to wife abuse and violence against women. Boys and young men, who are raised in that paradigm, behave condescendingly and abusively towards girls at home, in schools, and in churches. They say they have dodged a bullet in not being born female. Male on female assault and battery is increasing on college campuses, with strongly held religious beliefs about gender-roles being a known contributing factor to the rise in violence against women by men of any age. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">And yet, girls and women are often blamed for the abuse they endure. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">This article is directed towards Believers, to Christian women and men, so, back to spiritual warfare and supporting victims of abuse who choose not to leave their abusers. Only <i>Christians</i> can fight the GOOD fight. And we can't do that without the help of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">If a battered or abused Christian wife confides in us, yet refuses to take legal action against her abuser, or to leave, then we <i>must </i>stand with her in spiritual warfare--prayer. The Bible provides <a href="https://hungryheartsministries.blogspot.com/search/label/Spiritual%20Warfare" target="_blank">step-by-step instruction</a> in this, and commands us to bear one another's burdens. Being careful of our own safety, we must not withdraw our love and friendship. We must not give abused sisters in the Lord the boot by kicking them out of our church fellowships (Yes. Some churches do this). Rather, we should earnestly pray for guidance in how to help bear the burdens of victims of domestic violence. <i>Our Christian faith demands it</i>. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Again, I am not an advocate of the stay and pray philosophy. I <i>always</i> advocate for the safety of the victim <i>first,</i> and I always let victims know this. But I also advocate for respecting a Christian wife's decision. We cannot make a wife leave an abusive husband. And just because a wife may turn to us for support, it may not be because she is ready, as yet, to leave her abuser. Maybe she never will be. We must be prepared for this eventuality. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Leaving a spouse cannot be compared with walking away from a controlling or abusive friend or acquaintance, that in itself is hard enough, ask anyone who has had to do it. Leaving a spouse is something altogether different. Having a spouse arrested cannot be compared with calling 911 on a prowler or stranger who threatens us. The emotional dynamics between husbands and wives simply cannot be compared with the emotional dynamics of <i>any other</i> relationship. And even though a victim is biblically free to leave, the pressures are strong to stay. The ties that bind are diverse and multi-faceted. The dynamics of abuse within the context of a "Christian" marriage are complex and convoluted at best.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Christians are called to be special people unto our God. And whether a Believing wife leaves or stays in an abusive marriage, that is legitimately her decision. There are ways we can help her bear that heavy burden--and it is a very heavy burden indeed. We can do it without accepting the abuse, we can do it while still giving sound advice (without harping), We can still respond to her need for love and friendship, along with non-judgmental support. We can show Christian love and genuine respect to someone who likely faces many more hard choices and who lives a very difficult life. We can do all this without placing conditions on our love and support. </p>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-1373276431360253952023-08-22T10:31:00.003-07:002023-10-04T04:55:05.045-07:00Woman Submit! 2nd Edition<p><span style="text-align: justify;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: large; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CG6Q77QY?ref_=pe_3052080_276849420" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="2560" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5KDD2zrHfUJfbGTsz5-x0buh2Kik7qW84_SWug-d2jGJSkjOxZyUzHs6R0rmTLR8k41Bxd8pfidYIDYXF94ndjhAfHohl1bPT_hRLAJRbxRRZB5qMTe3X2te_kFL0Xqudxit2xEeHbhSnV8CRhF-L8q1QSH6OmwrXeRy2j2fufSRJs5ngOdWc/s320/ws%20Woman%20Submit%202nd%20Edition%20fr%20cvr.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: medium;">The 2nd Edition of</span><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="text-align: justify;"> </span><i style="text-align: justify;">Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence</i><span style="text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="text-align: justify;">is</span><span style="text-align: justify;"> now <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/B0CJXDSMQS" target="_blank">available</a></span><span style="text-align: justify;">! </span></span><p></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="text-align: justify;">This life-changing book about Christian response to domestic abuse can <i>save lives</i>. It is a power-packed must</span><span style="text-align: justify;"> for anyone experiencing domestic violence or abuse.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="text-align: justify;">You don't need the book because you don't experience marital abuse? What about those who may turn to you for help? How would you respond? Yes. This book is for you too.</span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The new edition has been revised with updated information and resources. It is available in print and digital formats and free to read for Kindle Unlimited subscribers! </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/B0CJXDSMQS" target="_blank">Woman Submit!: Christians & Domestic Violence: Andersen, Jocelyn: 9780979429354: Amazon.com: Books</a></div>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-14620074476477291372023-08-03T12:50:00.001-07:002023-08-03T12:50:59.298-07:00Christian Response to Domestic Violence<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence-ebook/dp/B001U88E5E?" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidad1Y-SxvZYu0c7VJMS_WNOeWpmRieyXVENFU-sm3Ix59d5Xof4NZ5kUQKTDWDG4ziijBMitCHiL3RZ7N94P26vm81TbcSgH6RRqQGCBSgQhJHZKI87cIay8EYujp4oEDLXl99dA-NVEWgQBD_4KhmzWKoCptH0i9rsGX31iS9g7Bahve1LcA/s320/DV%20hotline%2040%20Hrs.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: large;"> Read more articles about Christian response to domestic violence <b><a href="https://jocelynandersen.blogspot.com/search?q=domestic+violence" target="_blank">HERE</a></b> </span><p></p>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-73711513536987960422022-03-29T22:58:00.005-07:002022-12-31T12:11:42.503-08:00Your book is a reminder of what I need to do<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: white;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #202020; font-size: x-large; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqyErCzdLFiZGMkamJMCOcVnH0294DXtxH_iOEraacc9tyItztQp9BTU8axo1BWTFAXsyVkQ_v943rvTtjweINWb6HxLlbOc6iF4v019-46aGlo3HwVv_wq9m1xSeJJdyMwPqpSSSmxGuyogIPvwEawu32wTlIANGjmwmcJbCVZz2nMfHYsQ/w129-h200/bkwsLS-250.jpg" width="129" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /><span style="color: white;">Jocelyn, what a mighty God indeed. I am so thankful to Him <a href="https://womansubmit.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html" target="_blank">for sparing your life</a> so you could be the voice you now are for those who are gagged. What the enemy intended for evil, God has turned it out for your good and the good of many, many, more than you can count.</span></span><p></p><span style="font-size: large;"><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: white;"><div style="text-align: justify;">I remember a dark night on the streets of Hackney, London. I was a small child walking with my bloody-faced mother on our way to the hospital . . . I know now what the scar on her lips symbolizes. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">How selfish of me then...and now, especially as a Christian. I have not been fair to her by not understanding the impact of abuse on her life...I now recognize I need to not only repent but address her behavior toward me from a different perspective, certainly with more grace. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">A few days ago, as I pondered on meeting her again soon (last time 2016), I sensed I didn't want to touch her, I then realized I still have issues I need to address. Vising your site and reading the <a href="https://womansubmit.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html" target="_blank">first chapter</a> of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" target="_blank">your book</a> is a reminder of what I need to do.</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span face="arial, sans-serif"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: white;"><div style="text-align: justify;">I will purchase the book and peruse your site in more detail. </div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span face="arial, sans-serif"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: white;"><div style="text-align: justify;">Thank you for sharing your pain, shame, and beauty you have acquired for your ashes through the faithful loving-kindness of our heavenly Father, who promised never to leave or forsake you.</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span face="arial, sans-serif"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: white;"><div style="text-align: justify;">...a vision comes before me of perpetrators...I saw men who are repentant and need support to overcome their guilt and shame.</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span face="arial, sans-serif"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: white;">Mary B</span></div><div style="color: #202020; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;"><b></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #202020; text-align: center;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1936" data-original-width="2048" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsASbdmkQubs09OaaXV3S9oZ0D9whhSsmjywCO_7PmZeNSKCp4MXBEUTsIjR1fPBzmaagulp4BQmNvUycxJtWwkmoeLgS4jyxRnQPi0Emf208BUwIIOtMXbrX1judFq92lkd1uI4lWD8dQizj_Jy1A7sx7s7j-i31r-tho_cyGf4nLqEN4pQ/w200-h189/joc%20guitar%20slanted%20wid.jpg" width="200" /></a></b></div><b><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="color: white;">Subscribe to Jocelyn Andersen’s Updates &
Newsletters: <a href="http://eepurl.com/dgDt6b" target="_blank">http://eepurl.com/dgDt6b</a></span></b></div></b><p></p><br /></div></span></span>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-49649738683445877152022-03-29T06:38:00.006-07:002023-01-13T07:09:29.452-08:00Does Scripture Allow Divorce from an Abuser?<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Jocelyn-Andersen/e/B003N6TYKU/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="836" data-original-width="1254" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuTy_yOvPflsw1md8xxHkuto7X0n1eHTLWUyFc_GtpcfgRThZLbJQRGN4weJk4vp2c-8PjSEbVOqvy7pqawHx8lc9kzKVlSBeK86OICmrRBe6K7wdXAsHy2XFfk0uGF4CWSmpJFZ-tjZmx7_owfCn49k7RqYYiONl-iJReQW4mVFOVkRrTpg/w200-h133/divorce.jpg" width="200" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />The entire tone and theme of scripture is that human lives and compassion are more important than theology, which is often skewed by personal bias. </span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>Proverbs chapter two says it is God's will that anyone oppressed by the evil man be free from him. That includes oppressed and abused wives. In forbidding </span>abused spouses to divorce, proponents of mainstream marriage and divorce theology have ruined and cost far too many lives.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><b></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Jocelyn-Andersen/e/B003N6TYKU/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1936" data-original-width="2048" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsASbdmkQubs09OaaXV3S9oZ0D9whhSsmjywCO_7PmZeNSKCp4MXBEUTsIjR1fPBzmaagulp4BQmNvUycxJtWwkmoeLgS4jyxRnQPi0Emf208BUwIIOtMXbrX1judFq92lkd1uI4lWD8dQizj_Jy1A7sx7s7j-i31r-tho_cyGf4nLqEN4pQ/w200-h189/joc%20guitar%20slanted%20wid.jpg" width="200" /></a></b></div><b><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><b>Subscribe to Jocelyn Andersen’s Updates &
Newsletters: <a href="http://eepurl.com/dgDt6b" target="_blank">http://eepurl.com/dgDt6b</a></b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank">Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence: Andersen, Jocelyn: 9780979429309: Amazon.com: Books</a></div><div style="text-align: right;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" style="clear: right; display: inline; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsI8Ar-_fDIGPEWA61jh2iGc6sMUBpdEZG5A1CML9i0Ck7umfPF-hbV17MBw3xSCoZE9HoGtoAPx2d5nh3wK64bGS_NJD30ywH6BuCj4tIFDyVMqs8Fi31CwnurSbcEnJ0wZv5L1NuMfIkCQuq4SPmpTW81OjHjMxrMNv-sIZjSTvBKmkRsw/w129-h200/bkwsLS-250.jpg" width="129" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><o:p></o:p></b><p></p><span style="font-size: large;"></span><p></p>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-43207278207683510232022-03-28T10:15:00.001-07:002022-03-28T10:15:32.254-07:00 Another Domestic Violence Stereotype Shattered!<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNRe6g0nNPiRLTflUjqhxBsOXfp-kd9bwCw0PWRCLMWef5AMV14k5yo54PrpQphKNOae9yweRJ1BPc6yiJ3VKl_31UZ3ZiVHrS_yzR8k0YozRjhZHg3A10SLEAVIC9hjf6AXGGudoyujIn7oA_BN5Jo8bCpPTjzdefNRuilYnpVXn0gOt9qw/w129-h200/bkwsLS-250.jpg" width="129" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Denise Turney of "<a href="https://www.blogtalkradio.com/denise-turney-/2022/03/26/woman-submit" target="_blank">Off the Shelf Books</a>" learned something new as she interviewed me on her show Saturday. Being on her show is always a pleasure. Listen to the interview </span><a href="https://hungryheartsradio.com/mp3/2022/interview-Denise-turney.mp3" target="_blank"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">HERE</span></b></a></div><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><b>Subscribe to Jocelyn Andersen’s Updates &
Newsletters: <a href="http://eepurl.com/dgDt6b" target="_blank">http://eepurl.com/dgDt6b</a><o:p></o:p></b></p><br /><p></p>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-14143492222678954862021-10-09T08:04:00.004-07:002022-03-16T08:54:28.186-07:00Teaching gender hierarchy leads to contempt and abuse of women <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><b><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: white; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Complementarian
men symbolically urinate on women</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: transparent; text-align: left;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: transparent; text-align: left;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Gender-Slavery-Evangelical-System/dp/0979429323" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="970" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhkef9TdQsnTw0ualpAQvUOrWmdRxdo_R7HftuoOFspOVInXIxKMlr4glVKybGN6Y3ZhJ99HaTfup9qNb8W3_rIi09aGD-nQRzsrTVy8CS-UTxNjvA4_OuqHaAxdiQBGJhcQqiti-_ZcNCXNoLtbh-6ngQUBEkNlfG1J3BtDoVNChQrKocLww=s320" width="211" /></a></span></div><span style="background-color: transparent; text-align: left;"><br />Reprint of </span><b style="background-color: transparent;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS", sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; font-size: 10pt;">March 11, 2012</span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; text-align: left;"> Examiner article By <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Jocelyn-Andersen/e/B003N6TYKU/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1" target="_blank">Jocelyn Andersen</a></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Last week men were
symbolically urinating on women at the complementarian “Men of God 2012”
conference held at Calvary Baptist Church in Bellefontaine, Ohio (<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Gender-Slavery-Evangelical-System/dp/0979429323" target="_blank">c</a></span><span face=""Trebuchet MS", sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Gender-Slavery-Evangelical-System/dp/0979429323" target="_blank">omplementarianism</a>
assigns strict gender roles to women and men with women being subordinate to
men in all things).</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Since there were no women
in attendance, the women’s restroom was opened for use by the men. In an
article describing his experience at the conference, ** Paul M. Dohse Sr., editor of
the blog “<a href="https://paulspassingthoughts.com/" target="_blank">Paul’s Passing Thoughts</a>” and advocate of non-hierarchical church leadership, posted on his blog that while using the women’s
restroom, he found the toilets and floor in <i>every </i>stall sprayed with urine. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">He
wrote that this was the case with the women's restroom throughout the
conference. In an email interview with this writer, Dohse said the men's
restroom was never in such condition but would not go so far as to say he
believed men at the conference were demonstrating hatred and contempt for women
by symbolically urinating on them. He did say, “it's hard for me to believe
what I saw wasn't deliberate.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">He blamed the condition
of the women’s restroom [in part] on the anti-woman messages preached at the
conference by Dr. Voddie Baucham. Baucham, who will be coming to the Orlando
area this fall to speak at a conference with Dr. R. C. Sproul, is a prominent
leader within the complementarian movement. He presented three keynote messages
at the Bellefontaine conference, all of which were saturated with anti-feminist
rhetoric and an “us” against “them” attitude. In part two of his three part
“Culture War” presentation, he portrayed women as being just a notch above the
serpent on the “food chain,” of which males were at the top.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">From the urine-sprayed
condition of the women’s restroom at Calvary Baptist, it seems clear that
Baucham was successful in whipping the men into an anti-feminist frenzy.
Successful leaders understand that movements with clearly defined opposition
are the most successful. In her book, Out of the Cults and into the Church,
Janis Hutchinson quoted Hoffer when she wrote, “Mass movements can rise and
succeed without a belief in God . . . but never without a belief in a devil.
This is because the strength of a mass movement is proportionate to the
vividness and tangibility of its devil. When Hitler was asked whether he
thought the Jew should be completely destroyed, he answered, ‘No . . . We have
then to reinvent him.’ Hitler further explained that ‘It is essential to have a
tangible enemy, not merely an abstract one.’”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The devil of the
complementarian movement is the feminist, and by complementarian standards, any
woman who does not accept a subordinate position to males is a feminist.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">On his blog, Dohse asked,
“Will New Calvinism Become a Christian Woman’s Worst Nightmare?” In the email
interview, he added, “I would look hard at the fact that the patriarchy
movement is teaming up with New Calvinism. That's some seriously bad news for
women.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">One study found that a
belief in strict gender roles was “associated with less perceived seriousness
of scenarios depicting interpersonal aggression.” In plain English, that means
that those who held to the belief of female subordination did not feel that
violence against women was all that serious. This cannot be divorced from the
almost wholesale acceptance by evangelicals of complementarianism, which began
in 1987 with the issuance of the Danvers Statement. When equality is trashed,
as recently demonstrated in Bellefontaine, contemptuous attitudes and actions follow. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Domestic abuse and
violence occurs more frequently among professing Christians than is commonly
believed. Some family counselors, such as, Barrington H. Brennen, boldly assert
that complementarian teaching is directly responsible for accelerating abusive
and violent behavior in husbands.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In 2012, anonymous men at
the Bellefontaine conference expressed contempt for women by symbolically
urinating on them. Dohse said there was so much urine [in places] on the floor
of the women’s restroom that it was difficult to keep it from saturating the
hem of his pants. Statistics show what misogynistic men have been doing in the
privacy of their homes for decades. How many of the men who urinated all over
the women’s restroom at Calvary Baptist Church in Bellefontaine went home and
mistreated or beat their wives?</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The outrageous behavior
of its followers should expose the unbiblical roots of complementarianism for
what it is. Jesus said, “you shall know them by their fruits.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">With the complementarian
position becoming more extreme, one can only hope adherents will recognize it
for the evil it is, withdraw their support, and allow it to implode upon itself
and self destruct.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Christians need to stop
supporting this garbage and expend our physical and financial resources on
worthy endeavors in the advancement of the gospel. Let us seek to set captives
free rather than supporting those who seek to enslave. Stand up and walk out on
them. Leave complementarian leaders to preach to empty pews and mop up the
stinking mess of their own shame.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="color: #1d1d1d; font-size: medium; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">*** After interviewing
Dohse, who first reported about this on his blog in 2011, Andersen
published this article on “The Examiner.” Dohse, who attended the Bellefontaine
conference, told Andersen [in an email interview] that he stood by his report
and analysis of the condition of the women's restroom (vastly different from
the men's restroom). Within 24 hours of this article being published on The
Examiner, it was reported that Dohse was visited by men who allegedly pressured him to remove his report of the conference
from his blog. Dohse, who to his credit remains a staunch advocate of non-hierarchical church
leadership, nevertheless caved to the pressure and removed the report from his blog.</span></p><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="font-size: medium; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span face=""Trebuchet MS",sans-serif" style="font-size: medium; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b><span style="color: white;"> Gender hierarchy teaching is [in and of itself] abusive to women.</span></b></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #1d1d1d; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Gender-Slavery-Evangelical-System/dp/0979429323" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="970" data-original-width="640" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7B00VSs01sD_YO7esZNCr7pyysZNeLxjm8KzFc-oqspvlLWcHrV2Ixb_cqJRJHU81_z9ESpjskrgApgKoMdhZkju68041uRo5TxckNWm8lP_c4HWoqFTG3hLiM_ljrhV5LagP/w132-h200/WomanWarCover6x9.jpg" width="132" /></a></div><br /> . <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cJOshMXdUi2nnj0-EQnl90N582bPX8jCvpeH10VH_60-qiRZ8zuGDDUqPpIXpPFzMNgK5jrYIZl28_hxRhZD1n_PehBP1jPxUXFusfwvBeFwW7m-tDbUAJtfkSrqF0DOpDLg/w129-h200/bkwsLS-250.jpg" width="129" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #1d1d1d; text-align: left;"><b>Subscribe to Jocelyn’s Updates & Newsletters:
<a href="http://eepurl.com/dgDt6b" target="_blank">http://eepurl.com/dgDt6b</a></b></div><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p><br /></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><o:p></o:p></p>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-81965526752449951252021-10-05T13:10:00.002-07:002022-03-05T11:03:17.525-08:00Typical response from pastors to requests to educate church members about domestic violence<p><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: 15px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuErS2WEz2yt8riYP8KiuOLiKiX-y-Yp25eaz34bBagQdIq3v2A7LqQ7YfeXAEb8-utWIHQaEVdL-1YgG3ElfoLrXJfuzgZ3_QezFj8ERSjoG5EsrXGXVouPeBWAy7XV98CzKq/s164/sf2+Joc.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="164" data-original-width="120" height="164" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuErS2WEz2yt8riYP8KiuOLiKiX-y-Yp25eaz34bBagQdIq3v2A7LqQ7YfeXAEb8-utWIHQaEVdL-1YgG3ElfoLrXJfuzgZ3_QezFj8ERSjoG5EsrXGXVouPeBWAy7XV98CzKq/s0/sf2+Joc.jpg" width="120" /></a></div><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Waneta Dawn, Kate Johnson, and I share about our experiences with pastors when they are approached about the topic of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank">Christian response to domestic violence</a>.</span><p></p><p><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: large;">Listen to the 11-minute audio </span><b><a href="https://hungryheartsradio.com/mp3/Jocelyn_Andersen/Jocelyn_Andersen_Sermons/Church_Responds_to_Domestic_Abuse.mp3" target="_blank"><span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;">HERE</span></a><span style="font-size: 15px;"> </span></b><span style="font-size: 15px;">(</span></span><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">This audio was recorded at the Seneca Falls 2 Christian Conference in Orlando, FL). </span></span></span></p><p><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: black; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Jocelyn-Andersen/e/B003N6TYKU/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1936" data-original-width="2048" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgMMOb8zdTs7-avC_bnDdJI0U8yyXeYqQiEbwgdFIP1QQ_tDzDNGd8txgxC-Yh0bMMd3QGGfoHcMVHNfpXqI5rVAzu3mlyH4NXkLULtKd23BDwH8nqPnkv6CrV30M7CNhlxhqBKfz8XhL6JZD2SrjfkTfRSoFaBDsaSWnaTehNhrTpbjPtLyg=w200-h189" width="200" /></a></span></span></div><span style="color: black; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><br />To receive Jocelyn's newsletters and updates,
subscribe </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/31979917/2831726603179087448" target="_blank"><b><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">HERE</span></b></a><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">.</span><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span><p></p><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 15px;">
</span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><br /></div></div>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-22787920735151008092021-09-07T10:38:00.001-07:002021-09-07T10:38:53.460-07:00Are Good Parents Losing Custody to Abusers?<p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Jocelyn-Andersen/e/B003N6TYKU/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="296" data-original-width="474" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw8OM4i59txqg7T9Qdyx2JKTZ-SwAjr92iNoZZhkm2erbOVoIyUhIc8KP3ifR8Z6PFJZ3kmIHtwenBz0d6EML020CHuespnR6vl0RSSR7l_GJgPiVZTrpCsfRD2nKM6DPy65QL/s320/parental+alienation.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;">High conflict families are disproportionately represented among the population of those contesting custody and visitati</span><span style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;">on. </span></span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">These cases commonly involve domestic violence, child abuse, and substance abuse. </span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Research indicates that that custody litigation can become a vehicle whereby batterers and child abusers attempt to extend or maintain their control and authority over their victims after separation. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Although, research has <i>not </i>found a higher incidence of false allegations of child abuse and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" target="_blank">domestic violence</a> in the context of custody/visitation, officers of the court tend to be unreasonably suspicious of such claims and that too often custody decisions are based on bad science, misinterpretation of fact, and evaluator bias. As a result, many abused <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Gender-Slavery-Evangelical-System/dp/0979429323" target="_blank">women</a> and their children find themselves re-victimized by the justice system after separation. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">~~ </span><span style="font-size: x-large; text-align: justify;">Stephanie Dallam</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span>Read More: <a href="http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/pas/dv.html">http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/pas/dv.html</a></span></div>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-67459701471026993812021-08-20T23:21:00.004-07:002021-08-20T23:21:00.169-07:00Trigger alert for the book: Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cJOshMXdUi2nnj0-EQnl90N582bPX8jCvpeH10VH_60-qiRZ8zuGDDUqPpIXpPFzMNgK5jrYIZl28_hxRhZD1n_PehBP1jPxUXFusfwvBeFwW7m-tDbUAJtfkSrqF0DOpDLg/s320/bkwsLS-250.jpg" width="207" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">As the title says, this book
is written by a Christian author for Christians experiencing domestic violence or abuse [and for
those they are most likely to turn to for help]. So, there is plenty of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Jocelyn-Andersen/e/B003N6TYKU/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1" target="_blank">Bible in it</a>. </span></span><p></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: justify;">Expect to find </span><i style="text-align: justify;">scriptural</i><span style="text-align: justify;"> answers to the perplexing problem of
domestic violence and marital abuse among professing Christians. If scriptural
answers are not what you are looking for, if you find the Bible offensive, then
this may not be the book for you. That being said, non-believers and those of
other faiths have stated that they found this work helpful.</span></span></p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/">Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence: Andersen, Jocelyn: 9780979429309: Amazon.com: Books</a></p>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-11755458272669536912021-08-18T22:56:00.006-07:002022-03-05T11:13:14.188-08:00Separation and Divorce<p><b> </b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhaYlJ32FClWCNJWoCZUOvhdr94yqai15a9ip4N-JOnAix9L-j57L2dIB284iibuB4yxYPMIhZdSgJ4w3t6mqQLhzrHpCwagQ35aPLNYi8dD_QmzOqDkahOuqLAEx0r-AqCRqjw1uWA9cvW7Tp_om-tn3dl3GvOE_XabafaZ6EU2jtZQUa3Jw=w129-h200" width="129" /></a></div><br />Excerpt from Chapter 7 of, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" target="_blank"><i>Woman Submit!</i></a>. "My Journey from Fear to Peace:"</b></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">"...That passage helped me understand
that when I became willing to see and do things God’s way instead of my way, I
would be cared for by God and would no longer be at the mercy of abusive treatment
or threats of abandonment.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p> </o:p> Did that understanding solve the problems within my marriage? No. Did I
immediately run out and file for divorce? To my family’s dismay, no,
I did not. It took some time for me to grasp the fact that I had to let go of
the wheel. I had to give up control. I had to stop trying to figure everything
out.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p> </o:p> Is that a surprising statement coming from one who was trying to escape <i>being</i> controlled? It shouldn’t. Everyone
has to have some sense that they are in control of some portion of their lives. One of my ways of feeling in
control of that chaotic situation was by not admitting defeat. I simply refused
to give up. I was constantly trying to figure out ways to fix things. I was
even using prayer to try and control the situation. That was wrong.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was with great difficulty that I reached the painful conclusion that
my efforts to change my beloved abuser might be fruitless. And I finally,
reluctantly, became willing to accept the consequence of divorce or permanent
separation if that became necessary."</span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b style="text-align: left;">Excerpt from Chapter 7 of, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" target="_blank"><i>Woman Submit!</i></a>. "My Journey from Fear to Peace:"</b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cJOshMXdUi2nnj0-EQnl90N582bPX8jCvpeH10VH_60-qiRZ8zuGDDUqPpIXpPFzMNgK5jrYIZl28_hxRhZD1n_PehBP1jPxUXFusfwvBeFwW7m-tDbUAJtfkSrqF0DOpDLg/s320/bkwsLS-250.jpg" width="207" /></a></div><br /> A book that saves lives.</b><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/">Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence: Andersen, Jocelyn: 9780979429309: Amazon.com: Books</a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">Subscribe to Jocelyn’s Updates & Newsletters:
<a href="http://eepurl.com/dgDt6b" target="_blank">http://eepurl.com/dgDt6b</a><o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-51317449331918258682021-08-16T07:45:00.007-07:002022-03-16T08:56:18.174-07:00Marriage, Divorce, and Re-Marriage Among Christians<p><b></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbTY1RoKDMb0PJ5mKNgzffD7TdcxSRdboUGxxa5nGFWk6Cfg-S_y5X5dACYUWsj1l3XpoqkXaUTqj3MNU7WNb66_WbKOFS7Z1Z_UcRZygxm9_4u5ihWGisQS6fVJ0Tl4XQoGLy/s200/Loes+Tam.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="112" data-original-width="200" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbTY1RoKDMb0PJ5mKNgzffD7TdcxSRdboUGxxa5nGFWk6Cfg-S_y5X5dACYUWsj1l3XpoqkXaUTqj3MNU7WNb66_WbKOFS7Z1Z_UcRZygxm9_4u5ihWGisQS6fVJ0Tl4XQoGLy/s0/Loes+Tam.jpg" width="200" /></a></b></div><b> Guest post by speaker, minister, and advocate Loes Tam:</b><p></p><p>THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, RE-MARRIAGE, AND <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" target="_blank">THE BOOK, <i>WOMAN SUBMIT!</i></a>.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Jocelyn Anderson has written a very honest and compelling story of her experience as a victim of domestic abuse and how she was rescued out of it.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">One of the topics Jocelyn addresses is that Christ as Creator is the One who understands the human condition more than any psychologist. This makes sense, of course, since He as part of the Godhead created the first two human beings as we can read in Genesis 1:26-28</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, in Our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Jocelyn spends as well some time focusing on Adam and Eve, the first two human beings that were created by God. From Genesis 1:26-28 we know that <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Gender-Slavery-Evangelical-System/dp/0979429323" target="_blank">they were created to rule over creation together as a team on an equal basis</a>. Sadly that perfect situation did not last for an event took place which we call the Fall. At that time both the man and the woman disobeyed God. This caused a change in their relationship as foretold by God in Genesis 3:16 when God warned the woman that she was turning away from Him to the man to have her needs met and that the man would rule over her. That sinful pattern has continued throughout the centuries. However, in Christ this pattern has been reversed so in the Church men and women once again are called to serve alongside each other in accordance with their spiritual gifts as given by the Holy Spirit.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Another subject that is touched upon by Jocelyn is marriage, divorce and re-marriage.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">God honors marriage but also, because of peoples’ hardness of hearts, provide a framework in which the ideal cannot be realized.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">In Biblical times the woman had no right to divorce. A man could divorce his wife for burning food. God’s Law gave protection to women and limited a man’s right to treat his wife capriciously or with cruelty. In Genesis 2:24 we have the clearest revelation of the original intent of God in marriage. Unfortunately, sin entered God’s world as we know form Genesis 3. Divorce became an issue after the Fall because of sin. One of the verses from the Old Testament that is often quoted is Malachi 2:16. In most translations it reads as if it is God who hates divorce. However that is incorrect. It is, in fact, about a man who hates and subsequently divorces his wife. A better translation would, therefore, be:</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">“For he (any man) who hates (his wife) (to the point that) he divorces (her),” says the Lord, “covers his garment with violence.”</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">For a man to “cover his garment with violence” speaks of the act of violence and an abusive inner state, which violates the covenant of marriage.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I would like to point out as well that, in fact, God Himself divorced Israel at some point in Isaiah 50:1.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Deuteronomy 24:1-4 is a foundational passage to prove that divorce can be sought for serious moral reasons which would have included issues such as adultery, abuse, cruelty, humiliation, persistent refusal to provide food or clothing, willful conjugal or emotional neglect (Exodus 21 -22) Though it is never desirable, divorce is acceptable in these circumstances. And a husband was not allowed to </span><span style="font-size: large;">simply send his wife away. He must give her a certificate of divorce, a document that legally established her freedom from the marriage and opened the door for her to re-marry.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">No debates about the validity of neglect and abuse as grounds for divorce can be found in Jewish literature because these principles were unanimously agreed on. Jesus’ silence on the subject highlights the fact that He did accept it, like all other Jews at that time. It is, of course, confirmed in His Words in Luke 4:18-19</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">“The Spirit of the Lord is on Me…. To release the oppressed….”</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Paul writes in 1 Timothy 5:8 that a husband who does not provide for his wife and others has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever…. Such a person has clearly broken the marriage covenant. His wife can, therefore, seek a divorce from him on grounds of neglect. She can afterwards re-marry.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">As for any young woman who has been forced into having sex with a boyfriend, that is called rape. In the Old Testament times the best way to deal with such a situation may have been for her to marry him. However, today there are better ways to deal with such a situation. This is clearly a criminal situation and God has provided proper authorities who are to protect citizens. In the case of a rape, the victim should, therefore, report the abuser to the police so that proper action against him can be taken.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Needless to say, I highly recommend Jocelyn’s book for anyone who would like to have more understanding on the topic of domestic abuse.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><b></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDZNoLqBEbbH3o0ouemwm3iT-1eLIiswjLHmNQkgQEwJ-WW3iii4rb0WhIjL4eoxYmlmzX0OjMim8CQEW4kOGdjjCj6YzwHBkPHvLdLiPE44eK7LQ3hEk4YhgsPIrKsBhEhi0m/s200/Loes+Tam.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="112" data-original-width="200" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDZNoLqBEbbH3o0ouemwm3iT-1eLIiswjLHmNQkgQEwJ-WW3iii4rb0WhIjL4eoxYmlmzX0OjMim8CQEW4kOGdjjCj6YzwHBkPHvLdLiPE44eK7LQ3hEk4YhgsPIrKsBhEhi0m/s0/Loes+Tam.jpg" width="200" /></a></b></div><b> Loes Tam</b> is a minister of the gospel blessed with ministry opportunities in the Philippines, Malaysia, Myanmar, India, and more. She is relentless in her <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPVMFHBJeZc" target="_blank">advocacy of women's autonomy</a> both at home and in the ministry. She is editor of the <a href="https://prayingandprophesying.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Praying and Prophesying blog</a> and <a href="http://www.ministryto-silencedwomen.com/my-story" target="_blank">the Ministry to Silenced Women website</a>. She recently started a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/258257565788405" target="_blank">Facebook group</a> that reaches out to women who have experienced spiritual abuse in their churches. <p></p><div><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><b>Subscribe to Jocelyn’s Updates & Newsletters:
<a href="http://eepurl.com/dgDt6b" target="_blank">http://eepurl.com/dgDt6b</a><o:p></o:p></b></p><br /></div>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-12507255328576625632021-08-12T20:14:00.001-07:002022-03-05T10:06:37.338-08:00Debunking 10 Myths About Domestic Violence and Custody Issues<p style="text-align: justify;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="620" data-original-width="620" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlngBEsmWQEvrlngmJ62pH8k_RXQ2Tq8-GvOOr0ToffDD9Jy8am2dkrOTVg1EcxV_RQIRbOUW4XaZ1goi9NivzYHqXqIgEpJOA72qy-NGRBIyQpXrj2e7A-YoQNIeVfNrl8w7E/w200-h200/dv+dontexist.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">Why expend energy in attempting to prove that women are primary aggressors and men are the real victims of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" target="_blank">domestic violence</a>, or worse yet, that domestic violence isn't much of a problem at all? Hard to believe, but some expend great effort in trying convince others that domestic violence is nearly non-existent, or at least not as prevalent as it really is. </span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">They make the fantastic , malicious, claim that millions of women are simply lying about the abuse in order to gain legal advantage in divorce and custody litigation. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Their propaganda includes denouncing the booklet, <a href="https://centerforjudicialexcellence.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Am.Bar_.Ass_.custodymythsandcounter.authcheckdam.pdf" target="_blank">10 MYTHS ABOUT CUSTODY AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND HOW TO COUNTER THEM</a> published by the American Bar Association (ABA). The booklet educates attorneys in how to best serve the interests of clients who are victims of domestic violence. An influential activist group once issued a special report debunking the booklet. Some Christian leaders also debunked the booklet. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">The real facts are that a travesty is taking place in this country as a result of domestic violence and related custody litigation. Too many Christians allow fear of radical feminism and a <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Gender-Slavery-Evangelical-System/dp/0979429323" target="_blank">narrow view of acceptable behavior for women</a>, to color their perception of the issue. The following is a listing of the 10 Myths contained in the booklet. Following that are a few facts correcting each myth. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">Myths:</span></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">1.) Domestic violence is rare among custody litigants</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> 2.) ill effects of domestic violence on children are minimal and short term </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">3.) Mothers frequently invent allegations of child sexual abuse in order to win custody </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">4.) Domestic Violence has nothing to do with child abuse </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">5.) Abusive fathers don't get custody </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">6.) Fit mothers don't lose custody </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">7.) Parental Alienation Syndrome is a scientifically sound phenomenon </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">8.) Children are in less danger from a batterer once the parents separate </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">9.) Parents who batter are mentally ill, or parents with no evidence of mental illness cannot be batters. 10.) If a child demonstrates no fear or aversion to a parent, there is no reason not to award custody or unsupervised visitation</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">Facts:</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">1.) According to the S. L. Keilitz National Center for State Courts, up to 50% of disputed custody cases involve domestic violence</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">2.) Even without myriads of studies proving the ill effects of domestic violence on children, common sense dictates that domestic violence would have devastating effects on the healthy development of any child</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">3.) There will always be those who lie and abuse the legal system in order to gain personal advantage, but some evangelical political activists in tandem with male supremist groups and abuser advocates, propagate the unsubstantiated claim that millions of women lie about domestic violence and child sexual abuse in order to gain advantage in divorce/custody situations. The substantiated facts of the matter are these, that where false allegations are concerned, fathers are far more likely to make intentionally false accusations than mothers. The truth is that false allegations are no more common in divorce or custody disputes than at any other time.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">4.) Domestic violence is child abuse! Anger and violence are terrifying to anyone subjected to them. Can anyone argue that it is abusive to create such an environment in a home with children? In addition to common sense, studies have shown a strong correlation between domestic violence and child abuse.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">5.) Abusive fathers are far more likely to seek sole custody than non-abusive ones...and according to the American Judges Foundation, they are successful about 70% of the time.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">6.) Mothers who are victims of domestic violence are often depressed and suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. As a result, they frequently present poorly at court, to custody evaluators, and best interest attorneys.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">7.) The American Psychological Association rejects PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) as lacking data support. The official position of the APA on PAS is that it is an unscientific concept.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">8.) Batterers are often more strongly motivated to control and abuse through the children after separation or divorce due to loss of other methods.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">9.) Psychological testing cannot always distinguish between a batter and a non-batterer. The sad truth is that men who are batters, often test normally in psychological testing--a case in point would be Darren Mack who tested normally in psychological evaluations during divorce proceedings between him and his wife, Charlotte. He was administered these tests on advice from abuser advocate DEAN TONG, because during the proceedings his wife claimed to be frightened of him. It turns out Charlotte Mack’s fears were justified. One year later, Darren stabbed her to death. Mack is also charged with shooting the Judge who was handling their case—unless they have been updated, so much for the validity of tests purporting to reveal propensity for domestic in men. In truth, mental illness is found in only a minority of batterers.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">10.) Children of batterers or children who are being abused often show no outward fear or aversion to the offending parent. In fact, most of time they demonstrate just the opposite. Traumatic Bonding and Stockholm Syndrome are common but unhealthy survival techniques used by children of batters or child sexual abusers.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Christians should be leading the charge in protecting women and children who are victims of domestic violence and a hostile family court system. Reading this booklet, published in 2006 by the American Bar Association is a good start.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cJOshMXdUi2nnj0-EQnl90N582bPX8jCvpeH10VH_60-qiRZ8zuGDDUqPpIXpPFzMNgK5jrYIZl28_hxRhZD1n_PehBP1jPxUXFusfwvBeFwW7m-tDbUAJtfkSrqF0DOpDLg/s320/bkwsLS-250.jpg" width="207" /></a></div><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%; text-align: left;">The
book, </span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/25941227/7825725018973312366" style="text-align: left;" target="_blank"><b><i><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Woman
Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence</span></i></b></a><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%; text-align: left;">, is available free with
Kindle Unlimited. Gifting print copies to church libraries, spiritual leaders, police departments, and shelters
is a great way to participate in Domestic Violence Awareness month in October.
But why wait for October when three women will die today from DV, and another
three will die tomorrow, and another three.... </span></div><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing">Subscribe to Jocelyn’s Updates & Newsletters:
<a href="http://eepurl.com/dgDt6b" target="_blank">http://eepurl.com/dgDt6b</a><o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-22687357381832535782021-08-09T08:21:00.000-07:002021-08-09T08:21:40.293-07:00Why would a battered wife grieve the loss of an abuser?<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cJOshMXdUi2nnj0-EQnl90N582bPX8jCvpeH10VH_60-qiRZ8zuGDDUqPpIXpPFzMNgK5jrYIZl28_hxRhZD1n_PehBP1jPxUXFusfwvBeFwW7m-tDbUAJtfkSrqF0DOpDLg/s320/bkwsLS-250.jpg" width="207" /></a></div><span style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="font-size: large;"> "</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: justify;">I remember how relieved I was to get away safely after that final brutal
assault. But I was completely unprepared for the </span><span style="text-align: justify;">devastating</span><span style="text-align: justify;">
sense of loss I experienced. My husband, who I genuinely loved, and my marriage,
along with all my hopes for it, was just… gone.</span></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">
It was sudden. It was complete. And it was irrevocable. In one fell
swoop, the circumstances of my life, and how I perceived those circumstances, completely
changed. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In a very real sense, widowhood had descended. And I wept… and almost <i>no
one</i> wept with me.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yes, it is a good thing when a battered wife is finally in a safe place.
That usually only happens when she is away from her husband. But few realize she
has just experienced a painful amputation. And her grief is compounded by the
fact that she usually has no one who can bear this burden with her..."<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">This is an excerpt from chapter two of, <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" target="_blank">Woman Submit! Christians & "Domestic Violence</a></i>."</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">The book is written from my personal perspective in chronicling my journey out of abuse, mapping [what was for me] uncharted territory in a landscape littered with explosives, in hopes that someone else might find my map useful. </span></p>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-25011646424806171192021-08-04T09:31:00.000-07:002021-08-04T09:31:02.072-07:00No Divorce for any reason ?!?<p><b>Foreword to </b><b>"<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank">Woman Submit!</a>" W</b><b>ritten by Elreta Dodds</b></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cJOshMXdUi2nnj0-EQnl90N582bPX8jCvpeH10VH_60-qiRZ8zuGDDUqPpIXpPFzMNgK5jrYIZl28_hxRhZD1n_PehBP1jPxUXFusfwvBeFwW7m-tDbUAJtfkSrqF0DOpDLg/s320/bkwsLS-250.jpg" width="207" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /> Jocelyn Andersen experienced
domestic violence first-hand and has survived to write about it. However, what
she writes in these pages is more than just a testimony, it is an appeal.
Andersen strongly appeals to any woman who is experiencing domestic violence at
the hands of her husband to leave. Her appeal is specifically targeted towards
Christian women because Christian women are more apt to stay in a potentially
deadly situation due to what they’ve been taught regarding the interpretive
meanings of the scripture passages that deal with submissive roles in marriage
and limited exceptions for divorce.</span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">It is sobering to realize that
many of the clergy in today’s church believe and teach that a woman must, at
all costs, not divorce her husband, even if she is constantly living under
threat of death in her marital home. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: times; font-size: x-large;">"</span><span style="font-size: medium;">Andersen bravely and boldly challenges
doctrinal teachings that discourage women from leaving husbands who are abusing
them</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Andersen writes in conversational
tone. So, reading her book is like hearing her voice. She writes in such a way
that you can hear her talking to you. You can hear her inflections through the
pages. Moreover, it’s a quick read. I read most of it in one setting.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Although Andersen and I don’t
completely see eye to eye when it comes to her theological viewpoints regarding
Adam and Eve, her book is in no way heretical. Just to clarify, when Andersen
says “lives are more important than theology” she’s not talking about the
theology of salvation (for those of us who are Christians should be willing to
give our lives, if need be, for the sake of the gospel of Jesus Christ), but
she is instead talking about the theology of marriage and divorce. And when a
woman is faced with making a decision between getting away from an abusive
husband or staying in a life-threatening domestic situation, I agree with Andersen;
to live is more important. What earthly good are we if we are dead or if things
are so bad at home that we wish we were? <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p> </o:p>I believe that any abused woman
who reads <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank">this book</a> will be encouraged to get help. To be quite honest, I
believe <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank">this book could save lives</a>.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p> </o:p>Praise God for Jocelyn Andersen
and the work she has done in her effort to help women through the trials of
domestic violence and abuse.<span style="text-align: left;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>--Elreta Dodds<o:p></o:p></p>
<p align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">Author of, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Is God a Chauvinist?</i></p><p align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Don't wait for Domestic Violence Awareness month to <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank">prepare yourself</a> to respond knowledgeably, compassionately, and biblically to the sin and crime of domestic violence. As of the the posting of this article, 174 women will die from spousal/partner abuse before then. <o:p></o:p></b></p><br /><p></p>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-26722195823838339432021-07-29T09:10:00.013-07:002021-07-29T10:10:09.770-07:00Planning for October: Domestic Violence Awareness Month<span style="font-size: large;">192 women will die from domestic violence <i>before </i>October arrives.</span><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cJOshMXdUi2nnj0-EQnl90N582bPX8jCvpeH10VH_60-qiRZ8zuGDDUqPpIXpPFzMNgK5jrYIZl28_hxRhZD1n_PehBP1jPxUXFusfwvBeFwW7m-tDbUAJtfkSrqF0DOpDLg/s320/bkwsLS-250.jpg" width="207" /></a></div></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: justify;">Before turning to law enforcement, women who are experiencing domestic violence often turn to family, friends, pastors, or other spiritual leaders. Are you prepared to respond knowledgeably, compassiona</span><span style="text-align: justify;">tely, and biblically if someone turns to you for help?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" target="_blank">Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence</a></i></b>, is for those who are experiencing domestic violence or spousal abuse <i><u>and also</u> </i>for those they are most likely to turn to for help.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Every</i> month should be domestic violence awareness month. Let's lower the statistics. Act now! </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Get a copy for yourself, a copy for your pastor or local shelter, and a copy to give to someone else (whether victim or advocate) who might need it. Ask your local library or bookstore to get a copy for you. Recommend the book to your friends. And don't forget to post a review! </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307/" target="_blank"><b>Buy the book</b></a> or read the first chapter <a href="https://womansubmit.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html" target="_blank">HERE</a>.</span></div></div>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-18044449764756635632021-03-20T10:04:00.001-07:002021-03-20T10:14:02.555-07:00Oh My God, I'm an Addict!<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://gab.com/groups/39327" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Art by Kathy Isler" border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlize6Qo7P5YmbIS144C_boHvN4uE-x50s00VzxKNYA2xp_ENLugvYSfo88DeOBSw69Pqh41DeXdFMJYYJ-T3rPyZ8m4cKkuK8T7EhNWEcie3LMvVPGtDri9syIXFJ6xk0jHuL/w320-h320/BLOOD+AND+ROSES+They+have+stricken+me.jpg" title="http://web.archive.org/web/20070605025143/www.ladywind.com/whatwords.html" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;">I spent years working with substance abusers in street ministry. Many that were dear to my heart never experienced the freedom they longed for. I may post more about that experience later, but the purpose of this post is to announce a <a href="https://gab.com/groups/39327" target="_blank">recovery group I have started</a>, that isn't just for those who are or have been addicted to substances. </div></span><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: justify;">Experiencing abuse--as I did--creates some unique addictions of its own. I wrote about this in my book, </span><i style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank">Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence</a></i><span style="text-align: justify;">. One of the chapters of the book features the exquisite artwork of </span><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20070605025143/www.ladywind.com/whatwords.html" style="text-align: justify;" target="_blank">Kathy Isler</a><span style="text-align: justify;"> [see to left]. The chapter title is, "</span><b style="text-align: justify;">Oh my God, I'm an Addict!</b><span style="text-align: justify;">" You can read that chapter </span><a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1u_SuMwyNZoGNQcK0FLuNgdSBlZJlKTsn/view?usp=sharing" style="text-align: justify;" target="_blank"><b>HERE</b></a><span style="text-align: justify;">.</span></span></div></div>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-50239285990552321302021-01-03T21:41:00.002-08:002021-01-03T21:41:00.547-08:00Would you date someone who was convicted of domestic violence?<p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Absolutely not. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Abusers can be devastatingly charming, absolutely convincing, and they are master manipulators. Although abusers can change, they rarely do. They can sweep you off your feet, FAST, and it’s absolutely not worth taking the chance. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">RUN!</span></p>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-51280528791706583912021-01-02T07:55:00.000-08:002021-01-02T07:55:12.456-08:00Once every 17 seconds a woman is beaten in her home<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="392" data-original-width="300" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuBaYov-tsLqPScJ-utR3k2d1QXcDwSBosJ0AED3RSPSao_2VM4-ntoBt5MOc1FQb3isp8lpEQ0yzhKxRoy-oV67A6t-lRT5t8Hz6VOAUhrjkAOPFQnj29taZyqkXJ8eWtwrc9/s320/wsPoster.jpg" /></a></div><p></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Three women EVERY day, </span><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">DIE </span></b><span style="font-size: x-large;">from domestic abuse & violence. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Who is willing to take some time--right now--to become informed enough to make a difference?<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"> Due to an awesome interviewer, I believe <a href="https://hungryheartsradio.com/mp3/Jocelyn_Andersen/Jocelyn_Andersen_Sermons/christians-and-domestic-violence.mp3" target="_blank">my interview with "Off The Shelf Books</a>" ranks among the best I've ever done in terms of being able to get life-changing and even life-<i>saving</i> information to those who are experiencing abuse <i>and to</i> <i>those they are most likely to turn to</i> for help. <br /></span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">What are signs of abuse?</span></b></li><li><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Someone I love is experiencing abuse. What can I do? <br /></span></b></li><li><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Why abuse happens in Christian homes <br /></span></b></li><li><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">What advice would you give to victims?</span></b></li><li><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">What set you free? </span></b></li><li><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">How to plan for your own preservation</span></b></li><li><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">When you should Not tell an abuser your plans<br /></span></b></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>How did you get out? </b></span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>What can we do to help others experiencing abuse? <br /></b></span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Much MUCH More!</b><br /></span></li></ul><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Listen (and bear with the slow intro. It's an exciting and informative interview that takes off well afterwards!</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> <a href="https://hungryheartsradio.com/mp3/Jocelyn_Andersen/Jocelyn_Andersen_Sermons/christians-and-domestic-violence.mp3" target="_blank">Off The Shelf Books Interview</a></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">... </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cJOshMXdUi2nnj0-EQnl90N582bPX8jCvpeH10VH_60-qiRZ8zuGDDUqPpIXpPFzMNgK5jrYIZl28_hxRhZD1n_PehBP1jPxUXFusfwvBeFwW7m-tDbUAJtfkSrqF0DOpDLg/s386/bkwsLS-250.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cJOshMXdUi2nnj0-EQnl90N582bPX8jCvpeH10VH_60-qiRZ8zuGDDUqPpIXpPFzMNgK5jrYIZl28_hxRhZD1n_PehBP1jPxUXFusfwvBeFwW7m-tDbUAJtfkSrqF0DOpDLg/s320/bkwsLS-250.jpg" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307">https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307</a></span><br /></span><br /><p></p>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-30356632978905499992020-10-31T04:50:00.000-07:002020-10-31T04:50:23.128-07:00Couples Counseling will not stop abuse<p><span style="font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMJt8scE2rEHHbeHklm4ZA5QDhkk8iWRUWQn6-FBzqiSGFJ4MTxxxZFpYMbyXDMc2fRdU7ZofpF7j_-H_sGPFPNEfWo2GK0p6GhjQl-3qLYB5vFlOvswAcZg7heNfVSsHsNlrQ/s300/Dorcas+Network+Logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="130" data-original-width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMJt8scE2rEHHbeHklm4ZA5QDhkk8iWRUWQn6-FBzqiSGFJ4MTxxxZFpYMbyXDMc2fRdU7ZofpF7j_-H_sGPFPNEfWo2GK0p6GhjQl-3qLYB5vFlOvswAcZg7heNfVSsHsNlrQ/s0/Dorcas+Network+Logo.jpg" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"> Abuse is not a relationship problem, and couples counseling will not stop it. When the problem is abuse, it does not take "two to tango." Abuse is the abuser's problem, and if abuse is going stop in a relationship, the abuser needs to take steps to stop it. </span><p></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">Unfortunately, many pastors and Christian counselors still treat abuse as a couples problem, inadvertently increasing the risk of injury or death to victims. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">Giving the book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank"><i>Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violenc</i></a>e, as gifts, helps us become part of the solution rather than the problem. <br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cJOshMXdUi2nnj0-EQnl90N582bPX8jCvpeH10VH_60-qiRZ8zuGDDUqPpIXpPFzMNgK5jrYIZl28_hxRhZD1n_PehBP1jPxUXFusfwvBeFwW7m-tDbUAJtfkSrqF0DOpDLg/s386/bkwsLS-250.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cJOshMXdUi2nnj0-EQnl90N582bPX8jCvpeH10VH_60-qiRZ8zuGDDUqPpIXpPFzMNgK5jrYIZl28_hxRhZD1n_PehBP1jPxUXFusfwvBeFwW7m-tDbUAJtfkSrqF0DOpDLg/s320/bkwsLS-250.jpg" /></a></span></div><p></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307 </a><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">Abuse is so misunderstood! Give this book as a gift to anyone experiencing abuse. And give a copy to those they are most likely to turn to for help: Family, Friends, Pastor, Sunday School Teacher...." </span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">Give a copy to local DV shelters and law enforcement. When they understand the issue of domestic violence among Christians better, they are far more likely to help victims, rather than write them off as not-credible. Sadly, out of ignorance, many police officers do this. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307 </a><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br /></p>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-37745379427386574542020-10-04T10:32:00.002-07:002020-10-04T10:32:57.858-07:00How Keeping a Journal Helped me Escape from a Life of Domestic Abuse<p></p><div data-contents="true"><div data-block="true" data-editor="a7lu2" data-offset-key="81bu4-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="81bu4-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="81bu4-0-0"><span data-text="true"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="140" data-original-width="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinMa3WuKlmWk0S3dOlsotLAJQdhWSHAkmLB1k8MgL6oILe3SeP9CkdAxlhC84ponB14Tw14f8XaRcnGs0fGQdHMw_y5H-R37e3rQuwgwrl_Q2qvP2ayH3Jcw2XUTOKxsvFFXgv/s0/battered.jpg" /></a></div>The following <a href="https://www.quora.com/profile/Jocelyn-Andersen" target="_blank">Quora</a> question came in for me, and in answering a question about writing, it occurred to me that I was also sharing one of the things that helped me navigate the minefield of domestic abuse, eventually finding my way out. So I share it with you (along with some annotation geared for those living with abusers):</span></span></span></div><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="81bu4-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="81bu4-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="a7lu2" data-offset-key="f3nqo-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="f3nqo-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="f3nqo-0-0"><span data-text="true"><b>Q:</b> How has maintaining a daily journal helped you as a writer?</span></span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="a7lu2" data-offset-key="1m97h-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="1m97h-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="1m97h-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="a7lu2" data-offset-key="flgr0-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="flgr0-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="flgr0-0-0"><span data-text="true"><b>A:</b> Maintaining a journal, was absolutely invaluable when writing my first published book. </span></span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="a7lu2" data-offset-key="f7523-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="f7523-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="f7523-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="a7lu2" data-offset-key="dk1g5-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="dk1g5-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="dk1g5-0-0"><span data-text="true">"<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank">Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence</a>," could never have been written without it. When preparing to write on the subject of domestic violence, I started by reading through my own journals. I found I had already written most of the book!</span></span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="a7lu2" data-offset-key="7gev5-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="7gev5-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="7gev5-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="a7lu2" data-offset-key="9blv1-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="9blv1-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="9blv1-0-0"><span data-text="true">In those journals, were details that might otherwise have been forgotten, had I not been writing them down </span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="9blv1-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="9blv1-0-0"><span data-text="true">while they were fresh in my mind (</span></span></span>along with insights into my situation). </span></span></span></div><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="9blv1-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="9blv1-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></span></div><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="9blv1-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="9blv1-0-0"><span data-text="true"><b>TIP:</b> Do you live with an abuser who gaslights you? Keep a journal!</span></span></span></div><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="9blv1-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="9blv1-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></span></div><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="9blv1-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="9blv1-0-0"><span data-text="true">It was the process of writing down my thoughts and insights [along with actual incidences of abuse], that helped give me perspective on what I was going through, as I came to grips with the knowledge that my Creator did not require me to submit to such treatment. The sin was on the part of the abuser... <i>not </i>on the abused. <br /></span></span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="a7lu2" data-offset-key="b7qgt-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="b7qgt-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="b7qgt-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></span></div><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="61tii-0-0"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="61tii-0-0"><span data-text="true">By adding research to personal experience and the memories recorded in my journals, I was able to create a rich resource for women experiencing domestic abuse…and for those they are most likely to turn to for help. I have heard from women on how helpful they found the book [even years after leaving the abuse] in understanding aspects of their situations they had never been able to get a handle on.</span></span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="a7lu2" data-offset-key="a8evr-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="a8evr-0-0"><a href="goog_1497622869"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="a8evr-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></span></a></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="a7lu2" data-offset-key="66e4u-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="66e4u-0-0"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-offset-key="66e4u-0-0"><span data-text="true">https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307</span></span></span></a></div></div></div>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-66055789410209441222020-09-04T07:41:00.000-07:002020-09-04T07:41:10.260-07:00What to Include in a Self-Care Package to an Abused Woman<p> <span data-offset-key="cb4h0-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKC_ak0KkclO-V2agPS91krhKzmB1yKd3d8ELt2ZejbRQYm-kfHM7FQBrD0Kd8IWI_rfzXpKnaBtP3cg3UY8jW7jB6Ej1z5UJ2pcHxdH3hmYRh-_VzbQMfnMXd6RnuBgjD3yDQ/s1000/self+care.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKC_ak0KkclO-V2agPS91krhKzmB1yKd3d8ELt2ZejbRQYm-kfHM7FQBrD0Kd8IWI_rfzXpKnaBtP3cg3UY8jW7jB6Ej1z5UJ2pcHxdH3hmYRh-_VzbQMfnMXd6RnuBgjD3yDQ/s320/self+care.jpg" /></a></div> <span style="font-size: large;">September is self-care month. A question was asked in an advocacy group about what I would include in a self-care package to an abused woman. One of our members said she would include a flower, because she so seldom received any during her years of abuse. I thought that was lovely. I added to the flower, that I would also include some helpful literature or book. It was a free book offered on television that served as one of the catalysts that set me on my journey to freedom from abuse. I have since written a book describing my own journey out, and hopefully that will serve as a map to help other women in navigating their way out of the minefield that is an abusive marriage (don't forget that next month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. My book would be an excellent gift for an abused woman or anyone she might turn to for help, i.e., family, friend, pastor....). </span><p></p><p><span data-offset-key="cb4h0-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><span style="font-size: large;">What else would you include in the package? Tell us in the comments below. <br /></span></span></span></p><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="d46d0" data-offset-key="43bjq-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="43bjq-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: left; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cJOshMXdUi2nnj0-EQnl90N582bPX8jCvpeH10VH_60-qiRZ8zuGDDUqPpIXpPFzMNgK5jrYIZl28_hxRhZD1n_PehBP1jPxUXFusfwvBeFwW7m-tDbUAJtfkSrqF0DOpDLg/s320/bkwsLS-250.jpg" /></div><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="py34i1dx" style="animation-name: none !important; color: var(--blue-link); font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="43bjq-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br /><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank"> https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307</a></span></span></span></span></div></div>Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-17946749770531988272020-07-13T05:14:00.000-07:002020-07-13T05:21:27.445-07:00When Victims are Discriminated Against by Those They Turn to for Help<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIdrZfI-A_V9TQK60O0qO9GY8RQpEBCBrDdD33cvLiYIXLXGJZX8x3Qc9Z_VJzqkbfsHXIj29t8utzuc3yDnmL52HAJhIyTLNP-gukwebeC7EQ6LNjZyL4gaUsiMEl-bhbJ42k/s1600/Battered+Hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="198" data-original-width="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIdrZfI-A_V9TQK60O0qO9GY8RQpEBCBrDdD33cvLiYIXLXGJZX8x3Qc9Z_VJzqkbfsHXIj29t8utzuc3yDnmL52HAJhIyTLNP-gukwebeC7EQ6LNjZyL4gaUsiMEl-bhbJ42k/s1600/Battered+Hands.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"> I know what it feels like to be abused and be more afraid of the reaction I might get from those I would ask for help than I was of the abuser. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> That fear almost cost me my life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> I hear the same from other victims and survivors, and studies confirm that fear is widespread and justified. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> There are more similarities between Christian and non-Christian victims of abuse than differences, but one difference is the reason many Christian women do not "just leave." <br /> "<a href="https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/in-the-news/when-survivors-encounter-discrimination" target="_blank">Abused Christian women are more likely to remain in or return to unsafe relationships, citing religious beliefs to support avoidance of ‘family break-ups’ despite abuse</a>." But what if a woman is killed by her abusive husband? Wouldn't that break up a family? </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Violent abusers are dangerous people. They are dangerous not only to their wives but also to their children. A shocking number of children are murdered by fathers who are wife-beaters. Additionally, domestic violence calls are among the most dangerous for law enforcement. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Despite these well documented facts, the danger to victims is routinely minimized by those who Christian women are most likely to turn to for help--the leadership of their churches and law enforcement. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Still today, bias against abused and battered women is real and prevalent. I experienced it first-hand in my own case some two decades ago and more recently in 2019 and 2020, while advocating for others. The bias comes from Christians, Christian leadership, and from law enforcement. "<a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2076-0760/6/3/71" target="_blank">Because of the bias, survivors largely do not get the help they need or simply don’t call the police at all assuming they won’t get help</a>." </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> This is simply unacceptable. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;">Compassionate and knowledgeable </span></span></span>Christian response to domestic violence involves more than simply advising women to get themselves and their children out of the danger-zone. </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;"> It may involve encouraging a woman to report the abuse.</span></span> It involves holding abusers accountable both spiritually and legally--church discipline if they are professing Christians and if assault and battery is involved, arrest and prosecution. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Christian women are often taught that wifely submission and patiently enduring abuse are godly attributes. </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;">Those who are taught this in church and some having heard it their entire lives, </span>are often reluctant to get on the wrong side of God by having abusive husbands arrested. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Strong beliefs about gender roles can be deeply ingrained in the psyche's of both abuser and abused, so here are a few ways we can stop being part of the problem of domestic abuse and domestic violence and become part of the solution: </span></div>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;"> Do not discriminate against victims by shaming them for their choices of who they married or whether they choose to stay or not to stay in their abusive situation. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Do not discriminate by making your help conditional on promises to "never to go back." </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Do realize that economics may play a part in a victim's decision on whether or not to report the abuse or leave, especially if the victim is a stay-at-home-mom with no income of her own. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Know what resources in your area are available to her. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">If possible, render tangible aid to her and her family. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Know that she will experience sometimes overwhelming fear. </span></li>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Her abuser wields strong emotional control over her. And if she has chosen to leave her home, understand that fear and strong feelings of displacement (most especially the first few weeks) will work against her resolve not to return to her abuser. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> These are just a few reasons victims need strong emotional support during a confusing and frightening time. Take care not to re-victimize by discriminating against victims of abuse. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> That is also abuse.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank">Learning to respond compassionately and knowledgeably to domestic violence</a> makes us part of the solution in ending discrimination against victims of domestic violence. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cJOshMXdUi2nnj0-EQnl90N582bPX8jCvpeH10VH_60-qiRZ8zuGDDUqPpIXpPFzMNgK5jrYIZl28_hxRhZD1n_PehBP1jPxUXFusfwvBeFwW7m-tDbUAJtfkSrqF0DOpDLg/s1600/bkwsLS-250.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="250" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cJOshMXdUi2nnj0-EQnl90N582bPX8jCvpeH10VH_60-qiRZ8zuGDDUqPpIXpPFzMNgK5jrYIZl28_hxRhZD1n_PehBP1jPxUXFusfwvBeFwW7m-tDbUAJtfkSrqF0DOpDLg/s320/bkwsLS-250.jpg" width="207" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Insights into Christian response to domestic violence will benefit those experiencing abuse as well as those they are most likely to turn to for help. This book provides clear scriptural direction, straight answers, and some tough challenges from one who has been there but is there no longer.</b> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307 </a></span></span></div>
Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-91735987520910593682019-07-21T15:07:00.003-07:002020-04-07T06:30:18.209-07:00A note from Jocelyn<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I pray the many articles posted on this blog will be valuable resources to readers. I write about many other things as well (There is life after domestic violence!) Please visit my main website at <a href="https://jocelynandersen.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><b>JocelynAndersen.com</b></a></span></div>
Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25941227.post-12585227627992685902019-01-27T11:01:00.000-08:002020-05-28T03:54:23.873-07:00What is Domestic Abuse? <div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">...</span><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank">Marital abuse / domestic violence</a> is nothing less than war waged in the battlefield of what should be a sanctuary, a safe-haven, to everyone...the home.<br /> It is a shameful, sometimes fatal, and often secret, war. <br /> What Angelina Grimke wrote of slavery in the 19th Century, applies just as much to domestic abuse in the 21st.<br /> “TELL IT NOT in Gath. Publish it NOT in the streets of Askelon….” They never suspected that many of the gentlemen and ladies who came from the South to spend the summer months in traveling among them were petty tyrants at home.</span><span style="font-size: large;"> --<span style="font-size: small;">Angelina Emily Grimke, An Appeal to the Christian Women of the South, 1838</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <b>What is domestic abuse?</b> Domestic abuse is WAR (both psychological and physical warfare) waged in the home, usually in secret, against members of one’s own family, most especially perpetrated by husbands against wives.<br /> Does domestic abuse and violence take place within professing Christian families? As of this writing, Google currently lists over 400,000 entries for the search term “Christian Domestic Violence Seminars.” Does that answer the question?<br /> Enough domestic abuse takes place within professing Christian homes that addressing the issue has become a popular cause within the Christian community. But all the seminars in the world will not change a thing regarding domestic abuse and domestic violence until church leaders eliminate the policy of female submission to male leadership, for that is what lies at the very heart of the issue and is what perpetuates it.<br /> It is a doctrine of systematic, institutionalized, discrimination that not only perpetuates abuse but also prevents Christians from <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Submit-Christians-Domestic-Violence/dp/0979429307" target="_blank">responding compassionately, knowledgeably, biblically, and effectively to victims of abuse</a>. </span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJvJWHPwtFo4y4yXMMSJbYDbAoHPyUPlA3WpervsinTXlIZOB7y_ZyGikvHJ6yHtUEPLdywLV5f-XPreKDZoWRacn8rmV1SbbhtbLdtGvWuT1H2fQ0qOIcSyqxhBxEirjkXnya/s1600/Woman4%5B1%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJvJWHPwtFo4y4yXMMSJbYDbAoHPyUPlA3WpervsinTXlIZOB7y_ZyGikvHJ6yHtUEPLdywLV5f-XPreKDZoWRacn8rmV1SbbhtbLdtGvWuT1H2fQ0qOIcSyqxhBxEirjkXnya/s400/Woman4%5B1%5D.jpg" width="258" wt="true" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">This article is an excerpt from the book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Gender-Slavery-Evangelical-System/dp/0979429323" target="_blank"><i>Woman this is WAR! Gender, Slavery, & the Evangelical Caste System</i></a>, by Jocelyn Andersen. </span><br />
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Jocelyn Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17172491437262657745noreply@blogger.com0